The Many Parts of Motherhood

Motherhood Has No Single Mold

Motherhood is a lot of things, but what it is not is something that can be easily defined. It is nuanced, it is varied, and it is at times humbling. There are some parts we choose and shape ourselves, and others that we have no control over which is what makes motherhood such a unique part of identity. 

There can be joy. There can be frustration and anger. There can be contentment. There can be fear. It can be laborious. It can be isolating. It can overwhelm you. It can make you feel the greatest sense of calm and peace. 

It can be all of the above, wild, beautiful, heartbreaking, and the hardest thing you do in your life. 

Recognizing the Many Parts of Motherhood

It is important to acknowledge that there are so many ways to become a mother, and regardless of the path you take, you deserve to honor your journey. Some mothers give birth, some mothers don’t, but they are all mothers. Regardless of how you join this club, you experience the deep love and adoration, the anxiety and fear, and all of the wonderfully dull moments in between. It is these experiences that make up a part of motherhood.

Not every mother feels excited about being a mother all of the time, and that is also okay. It can be a lot, and you are a real human with real emotions. Motherhood can sometimes make you feel like you lost yourself at times. Like the person you were, the person you really like, sometimes is overshadowed by the demands of this phase of life. It is not that you would change anything, but being disconnected from your autonomy is hard. That is a part of motherhood. 

Not every mother finds that it comes easy, it doesn’t feel like the intuitive thing that everyone says it is. This is also okay. The labor doesn’t stop in the delivery room, it is continuous. That is a part of motherhood. 

All of the things you may have to put on hold because our society is not set up to support mothers. 

You experienced perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (depression, anxiety, OCD). 

Your child died, but your grief and love are the invisible reminders of your motherhood. 

You hated being pregnant. 

You had a traumatic pregnancy.

You had traumatic labor and delivery. 

You struggled with fertility issues. 

You struggled with access to IVF/IUI. 

You feel judged by others no matter what you do. 

You have to take a step back from your career.

You have been discriminated against because you are LGBTQ+.

You experienced discrimination within the healthcare system because you are black, brown, or indigenous. 

You are a single mother by choice. 

You loved being pregnant. 

You are an older mother. 

You are a younger mother. 

These are just some of the many parts of motherhood. When we celebrate mother’s day, we are celebrating ALL of the parts of it. The good, the bad, and the haven’t had time to wash my hair in four days.  In doing so, we recognize all that it is to be a mother, and all that mothers do for those they love, protect, and nurture. 

More importantly, we should always recognize that mothers are complex, mothers are made up of so many different parts, and mothers are allowed to experience their journey in their own way.  

To all mothers, may you feel loved, and held, and nurtured today and all days. 

Resources 

You can find more resources for mothers here.