Surviving the Holidays While Grieving the Family You Hoped For
For many, the holiday season brings warmth, celebration, and connection. But if you’ve experienced a pregnancy loss or other form of reproductive loss, this time of year may feel anything but joyful. The holidays can magnify grief, highlight what (or who) is missing, and stir emotional pain in unexpected ways.
You may be navigating anniversaries, due dates, or the first holiday you imagined would look very different. You may be receiving holiday cards filled with children’s photos, facing curious questions about family planning, or struggling with gatherings where others do not know or do not acknowledge your loss. Simply put, the holiday season can feel overwhelming when your heart is grieving.
Wherever you are in your healing, and whatever your loss has looked like, your feelings are real and valid. Below are gentle suggestions to help you move through the season in a way that honors both your grief and your well-being.
Acknowledge Your Grief
It’s common to feel pressure to push through holiday festivities or act as if nothing has happened. But grief doesn’t disappear because the calendar shifts. Allowing space for your emotions, whether sadness, anger, longing, numbness, or anything else you may feel, can help you process at your own pace.
Give yourself permission to take things one moment at a time. You do not need to “be okay.” You simply need to be honest with yourself about what you need.
Manage Social Media
Social media often centers idealized images of families, babies, and holiday joy. For someone grieving a pregnancy loss, this can be intensely triggering.
You might consider:
Muting accounts temporarily
Taking a break from platforms
Creating a small private account where you can connect with supportive communities
Using filters or settings to hide certain terms or content
Your goal is emotional safety, not isolation.
Choose what feels supportive in the moment.
Seek Extra Support
Grief can feel heavier during the holidays, and you deserve additional care. You might find support through:
A therapist
A support group
Faith or spiritual communities
Trusted friends or family who understand your experience
Human connection can soften the impact of grief.
Give Yourself Permission to Say No
You are not obligated to attend every gathering or maintain every tradition. Protecting your emotional well-being is not avoidance, it is self-compassion.
You may decide to skip certain events, decline holiday cards, or create new routines that feel more gentle. Honor your limits and allow yourself to choose what brings you comfort.
Practice Self-Kindness
This season often encourages generosity toward others, but you also deserve that same compassion.
Gentle ideas include:
Reading or writing
Mindfulness or grounding exercises
Nature walks
Connecting with someone you trust
Cozy activities at home
Date nights or shared rituals with your partner
Healing takes time, and kindness toward yourself can help you through moments of heaviness.
Honor Your Loss
Creating a meaningful ritual can bring comfort. Some families find healing through:
Choosing an ornament to represent their baby
Lighting a candle
Writing a letter
Donating or volunteering
Including a symbolic item in a holiday tradition
Setting aside quiet time for remembrance
Whatever feels right for you is the right choice.
Resources for Loss
Listed below you will find compassionate, reputable support for anyone grieving a miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or other pregnancy and reproductive losses. These resources offer connection, guidance, and understanding during a difficult time:
National Resources
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support
Support groups, memorial events, online communities.
Retreats, support groups, community resources for all types of perinatal loss.
Free Navigating the Holidays Workshop
for those experiencing pregnancy or infant loss.
Support for bereaved parents (death of a child from any cause); online groups and counseling resources.
Postpartum Support International (PSI)
Specialized groups for pregnancy loss, TFMR, infertility, and postpartum mental health.
Stillbirth and neonatal loss support groups and education.
Massachusetts & New England Resources
Empty Arms Bereavement Support
Grief groups for miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, and infant loss.
Hope After Loss (Connecticut, open to MA residents)
Support groups for pregnancy and infant loss + peer support.
Infertility and reproductive loss support groups (virtual + in-person).
You Are Not Alone
Loss related to pregnancy, reproduction, or early parenthood can make the holidays feel painful, isolating, or overwhelming. You do not need to navigate this season alone. Your grief is real, your experience matters, and support is available.
If you would like help processing your loss or navigating this time of year, our clinicians at Riverview Psychotherapy are here to support you with compassion, understanding, and care. Please contact us if there is any way we can support you.
